La Passion: A Cause for Infidelity
It would seem that every other person you speak to these days is talking about infidelity, either experiencing it first handedly or having a close friend, colleague or relative going through the gut retching experience.
The real question is, why do people cheat?
The answer is somewhat simple, yet the solution is a bit more complex because it lies within our ability to engage in “wee” bit of self-discovery. The simple answer to this question is that we mostly act out in extreme ways to compensate for a lack of “something” in our lives. Extreme behaviours and even addictions at times are born out of a void, an emptiness of sorts that lies within us. When life begins to become complacent and mundane, we often look for that excitement, that heart thumping, sweaty palm and nervous feeling that gets our blood flowing. We want an energy surge, because in having that elevated energy run through us, it gives us a high so to speak. And when we do not feel that excitement, we start looking for it in sometimes unhealthy places.
A typical daily experience can look like… Working all day in the same old environment, in a JOB that is not the most interesting and surely not a first choice, picking up the kids from school, going home, making dinner, chores, and extracurricular activities, then bed time. This can be a common experience that might feel as though it is lacking some excitement for some people.
My personal belief is that infidelity lies in our inability to follow our passion(s) in life. And when the above description fails to include any passionate engagement and interactivities we can find ourselves stuck in a rut, life basically becomes boring. And with more and more people experiencing this lack of passion and a sense of boredom in their lives they are seemingly becoming more open and allowing themselves to become susceptible to cheating (making a conscious choice that is); making cheating accessible to people in a rut rather then starting to create a new life that is filled with healthy passionate activities.
Let’s take it back a bit…
You see, when we are younger, around the age of our post secondary adventures when we are looking to find our passion in life; looking to start our adulthood and find a job or start a business we innately should continue to follow whatever we experience as excitement. That which we experience in life as exciting is usually that activity that leads us to our passion. Everyone has a passion, and because life evolves in ways we could not predict, and because of the heavy impact society has on us, not to mention parental and peer influences, we are told to get a JOB and drop that “passion thing”. We are finding out in society that more and more people settle for that JOB for the next half of their lifetime, only to experience complacency, boredom, a lack of engagement, and an every day experience completely in the absence of stimulation.
Did Someone Say Stimulation…
We readily associate excitement, stimulation and passion with our sexual urges, mostly because there is a great deal of energy associated with all of these experiences. Sexual relationships offer an easy fix to getting that “high” we need to make our mundane life more exciting. This avoids the need to take responsibility for our life choices, a quick fix of sorts instead of making life long changes that are proactive and healthy, such as changing your career choice in the middle of your 20 year stint, or discovering what you once loved to engage in, you know that thing that brought you that high when ever you were immersed in it.
Because we loose sight of our passion(s) in life, we forget what a passion even is. In laymen terms, passion is a surge of energy you feel when you are engaging in something that you LOVE. Many people refer to their hobbies as passions, or extracurricular activities as their passions. Your passion is something that you get lost in when you are immersed in it. The experience you have while engaging with your passion is pure lust, excitement and even exhilaration. You are fully stimulated while you are doing that which you love to do, and that is your PASSION. Some people have never had this experience in doing anything else but others (pardon the pun). And because they have never truly found that which makes them feel that sense of passion, they truly are unaware of what they love to do in life, and so the easy escape of cultivating an affair, is what they know best to ignite that fire, that energy they are longing for.
Well if there was a single cure, it would be to find what you are passionate about in life. Ask yourself these questions to get a sense of whether or not you are experiencing your life’s passion.
- Do I love what I do?
- Am I excited for my day?
- Do I get excited when I have to go to work?
- Are there aspects of my job that do excite me?
- Are there things I wish I could do, but have not done them?
- What gives me energy in life?
- What activities do I participate in that make me excited?
- What gets my heart beating?
If you are having trouble answering any of these questions, you are surely not alone. It is not easy to all of a sudden decide to uncover you passion, but it is not impossible, because you do have a passion, something that gets your heart beating and sometimes a a little chat to peel away a few layers is all you need to uncover it.
The Secret to Fulfillment.
Discover your passion, find what gives you energy and gets you excited in life, and start to pursue it! Fill that void, that emptiness with something that brings you joy and happiness; that is your passion. When we engage in a healthy activity that brings us joy we can start to live a more fulfilling life, one devoid of heartbreak and disastrous affairs. When we engage in that which we love, something that is filled with “La Passion” we then start to reprogram our life experiences to ones that create ever-lasting fulfillment. Not to mention the great lesson you get to teach your children about finding and pursuing that thing that makes your heart beat and gets you so excited for your day! A healthy pursuit to say the least, one that will have positive moral and ethical implications for you, your workplace and your family but a life experience that is truly and purely meant to be part of your life’s journey and legacy.
Uncover your PASSION, live a life of FULFILLMENT, and start to fill the void you feel.
Miranda Rocca-Circelli, MDDE, BSc., BSc.
Miranda is a mother of three, entrepreneur, educational practitioner and a “hell ya, let’s go down that deep, dark, dirty pathway of self-discovery and enlightenment”. She works with clients to develop educational and training programs, as well as employee and executive coaching programs. She is also available for one-on-one coaching with clients. www.creativeelearningdesign.ca | firstname.lastname@example.org